Take Care of your type
This week I wanted us to take some ideas from a wonderful book called…
“Take Care of Your Type” - Christina Wilcox
these ideas are pulled directly from her book and I love the practicality of all of these options for each of the 9 types. So find your type and see what your challenge is for this week!
Type 9: Open up to your friends
Type 9s are uncomfortable sharing their personal life with others, even with those closest to them, because they don't find it necessary. They figure you're interested in other things, and they would never want to bore you or burden you with their feelings or problems. But, Peacemakers, your pain, your story, your quirks--all of it--matters. Your friends love you not just because you are there for them but because you're you! True friends genuinely care about you and want to know who you are on the inside. They want to know the heavy and the light. So take some time to analyze whether you're actually present in your friendships. Do you only hang out, laugh, and have fun? Or do you discuss, confide, reach out, and dig deep as well?
Type 8: Be Intentionally Unproductive
Yikes! I probably just terrified all of the Challengers with that statement. Every Type 8 I've met in my life has unparalleled charisma and the drive to get everything they want out of life. They are constantly working, moving on to the next thing, busying themselves with a new hobby, or overcoming a new obstacle. In a way, I think doing these things brings many Challengers joy. They are very physical people, and having external stimulation is important for their sanity. However, this can get out of hand if it's not managed, so Challengers, I want you to think of the last time you truly did nothing--not just did nothing but chose to do nothing intentionally. For many of you, I imagine this was a very difficult thing to recall. But I want you to entertain this thought for a bit longer, because I want to give you an assignment. Choose an upcoming weekend or weekday, whatever works best for you, and dedicate this day to just being-~-not tackling a new project or scheduling every hour with a new activity. Call this day whatever you want- maybe it can be your own version of "Self-Care Sunday" — but consider it sacred. Nothing and no one can get in the way of this self-care day; it is your much-needed time to be intentionally unproductive.
Type 7: Be Okay with Needing Help
Enthusiasts at their core long to be taken care of above all else, though they would never let you know this. Type 7s are naturally self-sufficient and would prefer to not bother others with their needs. Growing up, many Enthusiasts most likely felt a level of responsibility to keep everyone and themselves happy. They may have even felt pressure to amuse and entertain themselves to stave off any potential conflict. Because even though Enthusiasts come across as fearless, they're actually motivated by fear. That being said, what I want Enthusiasts to know is that it's okay to need help. And it's okay to break down. It's okay to feel sadness. It's okay to be affected by something that hurts you. It's okay to need assistance in the face of something or someone that challenges you. A huge part of saying no to your impulses is saying yes to the community. Saying yes to letting others in. Yes, people love you because you are positive, but you are worth more than your happiness. You are worth more than what you can offer to others. You are a full, whole human being, with a spectrum of feelings and preferences. And it's okay to dig deep, to get in touch with those desires, and even to express them toward others. You don't have to go this alone. You are not letting anyone down by asking for help. You are not weaker for it, and it doesn't make you "soft."
Type 6: Enjoy Your Life to the Fullest
there is something so beautiful, yet so terrifying, about the thought of enjoying life — of not waiting to take that trip you have been dreaming of, but just go for it. Of choosing to be a little reckless and wild every once in a while. Of not studying that extra hour. Of not working that Saturday morning. Of not planning it out beforehand. Showing up to life, expectant and open to what could occur. Loyalists deserve to Walk out the door in the morning and go about their day and enjoy the world around them deeply. To do that thing they've been dreaming of, without feeling Bully for being able to do it. To go after that vision, without feeling like it's not practical or productive. I'm challenging you to do this because although there is nothing wrong with wanting to live a secure and stable life, what if you risked it, responsibly, every now and again, in favor of growth? Can see you now, running and dancing in an open space--you can't believe your eyes. The grass is so bright with greens and yellows. It's almost as if you've been painted into a canvas. Even in this canvas, your figure, your dreams, who you are, is the true wonder. People flock to see it-to see your hidden essence of wildness that you're finally letting be marveled at. Don't miss out on life because of the fear. Yes, there are things in life that will be unexpected. Yes, there are things in life that will be painful. Yes, there are things in life that you will never be prepared for. But there are also things in life that you will be prepared for; things that are unexpectedly joyful. Surprises that aren't painful, but meaningful. Try doing something new, and out of your comfort zone, even on your own. Show yourself that you can show up, enjoy life to the fullest, and still be smart — that it's all a balance. That you know how to fend for yourself and protect yourself. But you also know how to let down your hair and dance like no one is watching. This can be as simple as starting at home. Try something new, in the comfort of your own space. Take baby steps. Fight for your right to enjoy life.
Type 5: Say "Yes”
Type 5s have this admirable gift of knowing when to say "no." They know limits. They have a keen awareness of what they can't handle--and they set strong boundaries they don't often cross. The unfortunate flaw in this amazing quality is that while 5s know very well what they can't handle, they do not credit themselves for what they can handle. They tend to store up a reservoir of energy that they may or may not use, be- cause they never know when they will need to draw upon it in times of emergency. This happens especially within their relationships. The issue is, there often are no emergencies or crises they have to deal with, but they still convince themselves to keep this energy locked away, just in case. So as 5s receive invitations and opportunities for themselves to connect or move up in their career, they often start to believe this narrative; I do not have enough internal resources to handle all that life is offering me. But in the spirit of letting yourself be challenged by others, I have to disagree with 5s on this one. Every Type 5 I know has shown unmatched resilience and dedication to what they believe in without even realizing it. One of my closest friends is a 5, and she once worked onsite at a safe house with women who wanted to change their life in the wake of homelessness and human trafficking. She led family dinners, led studies in spiritual and functional skills, and listened to heavy, emotional conversations with women taking huge steps toward healing. Would she tell you that this drained her? Yes, she would. But would she tell you that she was proud of herself for jumping into it? Yes, she would Would she also tell you that she decided to leave that job to pursue her actual passion in life? Yes, she would. Type 5s, give yourself credit. You are great at discerning what is good for your life. You can do more than you think, and there is a plan for your life that is larger and grander than you could've ever thought up or imagined for yourself. So say yes. Say yes when it's scary. Say yes when you don't feel as though you are enough. Say yes to making yourself available to personal, relational, and vocational growth.
Type 4: Pursue a Healthy Sleep Regimen
Most Individualists I know struggle with sleep. Individualists can be prone to all-encompassing anxious or sad thoughts, which can lead to insomnia. They can also completely lose their sense of time when they get caught up in things like thoughts, feelings, media, or music. They find their sleeping patterns heavily depend on their mood, which subsequently affects how they function every day. I want to encourage Individualists to do whatever it takes to improve their sleep by pursuing a healthy sleep regimen. I know routine may not sound appealing to you, but treating yourself to good sleep is more than just routine; it's about loving life a little bit more because you'll feel your best. You can still be creative, and eat or watch whatever you want, but begin to notice what times of the day you feel sleepy, when your body is naturally inclined to sleep, and when you are very much wired and awake. Become self-aware of your body--what is it saying to you? Intuitively listen to how it's communicating through energy levels and mood changes. I think a lot of individualists experience cyclical sadness because they're not taking care of their bodies--they're hungry, sleepy, or tired--not just because they what they've been wrestling with in their minds, what's been weighing on their hearts. Individualists want to feel sought after and safe with those they love. The more an Individualist can feel like their feelings and struggles are valid, the more they will feel empowered to overcome them
Type 3: Live Unfiltered
Take the mask off. Take off the filter. Post an ugly picture. Share an embarrassing moment. Have a dance party with your best friend and let them see you make a fool of yourself in the best way. Be unapologetically goofy. Say the word or words you're too afraid to say. Pursue the things that no one else but you wants to pursue. Post something you're passionate about that also may upset people. Be controversial. Take important stances. Risk the curated image of yourself by sharing what you believe in. Risk being embarrassed by trying to do the seemingly impossible when no one else would. Be free. Listen to the songs that you want to hear. Like the things that you like, not what you're supposed to like. Wear the clothes you like and you think are cool. And if you don't know where to begin with anything that I listed, my dear Achiever, it's time to figure out who you really are, not just who you are in relation to what you're expected to be, or what you're expected to produce for others. Because if you're going to be liked, loved, and admired in this life, don't you want it to be for who you really are?
Type 2: Take Yourself on a Date
Helpers make phenomenal partners. Being sacrificial and loving in relationships comes naturally to them, and receiving that romantic type of love from someone else is something they deeply desire. Most Helpers I've met have desired to be in a relationship with someone from a young age. The thought of such an intense connection and partnership is so appealing to them that they want to jump into dating someone as soon as they can. Helpers can find themselves quickly developing crushes and dreaming of the day when they're no longer single, and they typically want everyone they meet to fall in love with them (secretly, of course). Even when their feelings may not be reciprocated, they take that as a personal challenge and try to find a way to prove that they're worthy of the other person's love. Many of the Helpers I know have had their time, energy, and emotions taken advantage of in relationships, simply be- cause Helpers want to care for others well, and to be cared for in return. The thing is, Helpers deserve so much more than this. They deserve the same, or an even stronger, amount of thoughtfulness from people they care about. They deserve to know their worth--and to recognize when someone is not treating them the way they should be treated. So whether or not you're in a relationship, I want you, sweet Helper, to take yourself out on a date for a change--and not just any date: the date you deserve. The date you dream of and fantasize about. Show yourself you're worthy of that kind of treatment whether or not you have a special someone in your life to give it to you.
Type 1: Take Yourself Out of the Running
One of the most beautiful things I've heard a healthy, self aware Idealist say is that they've taken themselves "out of the running." In an Idealist's mind, they're continually competing against themselves. Every standard they have gets raised slightly higher when they come closer to reaching it. They do this because they want to see how close to perfect they can get. As you know, Idealists generally want to be above reproach. Any misstep they make, any thing they overlooked that could have potentially been made better, eats them up inside. I once heard a Type 1 on a podcast say, "Thinking that I did a good job at work that day only lasts for a few moments until I find ways to pick myself apart." Idealists desire to be better, and to become better every day. But who told them this is what they have to live up to? Taking steps every day to become a better person is something we can all do a little more often, but for an Idealist, it may be worth taking a break from this for a while. Whether someone told them that they needed to be better or this is something they've always just told themselves, I think it might be time for some Idealists to raise their hands and take themselves out of the race for never-ending improvement. I want to be clear that I'm not suggesting you shouldn't take time to improve yourself, but most Idealists will never be satisfied with their continual improvement. Striving for better can almost become an addiction for them, and so it's vital for Idealists to step back and realize, yes, I can work to improve myself, but it's not a race. It's not a race with someone else, and it's not a race with myself. I'm allowed to just be.
How can you implement the idea for your type into a day this week? I’d love to know! email me at brandon@aimandanchorcoaching.com. Would you like to listen to this on the way to work, or on a run? Maybe while you’re doing the dishes… check out the podcast!
